Sexy Six – Week 3

Sexy Six – Week 3

By Zach Rayment

1 – Shockers (Last Week – 2)

Won 41-24 vs Clam Slammers & Won 72-20 vs NJ Devils

Three weeks into the season, the league is beginning to take shape. The Shockers have been dominant to start the season. Their 72-20 win this week almost makes me feel bad for the NJ Devils: almost. Joe Guiffre threw for 15 touchdowns in 2 games this week to put his team at the top of the standings. Charlie Barbiere caught 7 of those touchdowns in an impressive day.

2 – Blue Jackets (Last Week – 1)

Won 46-6 vs Warriors

If it weren’t for two big wins from the Shockers, the Blue Jackets would still be at the top of the power rankings. They did no wrong but still were dropped to number 2 after week 3. They were equally dominant on both sides of the ball this week. QB Anthony Fontana went for 385 yards and 7 touchdowns this week. His defense did a good job of only giving up one touchdown. They picked off the Warriors QB 3 times and also added one sack.

3 – Rabid Squirrels (Last Week – 4)

Won 66-13 vs The Rattlers

For the second week in a row, the Rabid Squirrels dominated the opposition. They put out one of the best defensive performances of the season thus far. Five interceptions, one pick-six from Brad Smith and a strip sack fumble recovery for a TD from Steve-O helped them blow past the struggling Rattlers. In addition to great defensive play, Sean Collins added 379 yards and 7 touchdowns to bring his season total to 914 yards and 15 touchdowns.

4 – Woodchucks (Last Week – 6)

Won 38-35 vs The Grizzlies

The Woodchucks came out on top in what was another tense matchup. They were looking to rebound off of a tough loss to the Rabid Squirrels in the previous week where tempers flared. Some points in the game got a little tense but the Woodchucks regained composure to take the lead late and hold on. John Zitani threw for 394 and 6 touchdowns without turning the ball over once. Their pass rush was dominant once again with 4 sacks from Steve Dalrymple.

5 – Strangers With Candy (Last Week – Not Ranked)

Won 47-46 vs Average Joes

The team with the best name got the win in the game of the season so far. The two teams went back and forth all day long. A clutch drive late in the game led by Anthony Caputo put them on top. A defensive stop sealed the win and they just let the clock run down. Caputo went for 486 yards and 8 touchdowns in this shootout.

6 – Warewolves (Last Week – 3)

Lost 31-21 vs No Lackin’

Two straight losses and a crippled quarterback see the Warewolves drop to sixth, clinging on to the final playoff spot. With the Commish out, Shane Capone made is QB debut. He went 20 for 31, 279 yards, 3 touchdowns, and 1 interception. Not bad for a backup but not good enough for a win. If Ang can’t find a way to grib the ball, the Warewolves season could be doomed.


Players of the Week – Week 3 Edition

Players of the Week – Week 3

By Sean Dochney


Joe Guiffre – Shockers

The early season rust appears to have been shaken off for QBs around the JSGFFL as big games were put up by multiple players. Joe “Don’t call me Woody” Guiffre (any fans of 1950s folk singers around?) put up the best day of all the QBs around the league. Joe played 2 games and combined for 865 yards 15 touchdowns and 2 interceptions on the day as he led the Shockers to dominating victories over the Clam Slammers and the NJ Devils. His 2 nd game against the NJ Devils is what pushed him over the top to earn QB POTW. Guiffre went 28-40 for 485 yards and 9 TDs. Joe is now leading the league in passing yards and touchdowns with 1658 yards and 28 TDs. He has done this with only throwing 4 interceptions on the year.

Runner Up

Anthony Caputo – Strangers with Candy

By far the closest game of the week was between Strangers with Candy and Average Joes. Caputo would go toe to toe with Average Joes QB Brandon Koppenjan, as they both threw for over 400 yards on the day. At the end of the day, Strangers with Candy would hold onto a 47-46 win over the Average Joes and Anthony would earn the runner up spot for QB of the week. Anthony’s final stat line would end up being 25-43 for 486 yards 8 touchdowns and 2 interceptions.


Cam Blackwell – Strangers with Candy

Many receivers did more than enough that would normally earn them a spot in this week’s edition of POTW. Terron Maples, Chris McIntosh, Charlie Barbiere, and Zach Emmett all had huge games, but there is no controversy in WR of the week as none of these men put up the kind of game that Cam Blackwell did this week. Cam was very clearly Caputo’s favorite target for the day and Cam put up some real gaudy numbers in the close victory over Average Joes. Cam was a touchdown machine as he caught 8 passes that went for an astonishing 296 yards and 5 touchdowns.

Runner Up

Anthony Carlo – Rabid Squirrels

Carlo is quickly becoming a main fixture of Players of the Week. Carlo helped his Rabid Squirrels to a big 66-13 win over the Rattlers. He had 9 catches for 199 yards and 3 touchdowns on the week. Defenses around the league do not have an answer for Carlo as he is sitting in the top 3 in the league for receptions, yards, and touchdowns so far this season.


Steve Soletto – Shockers

Steve had another big game rushing the QB this week as his Shockers would go on to win their games in dominating fashion. Steve would end up with 5 sacks on the day and is now leading the league in sacks with 10. No QB ever feels comfortable when Steve is rushing in on defense.

Runner Up

Steve Bailey – Blue Jackets

The Blue Jackets blew out the Warriors 46-6 this past week. The Blue Jackets D was dominating all day and Steve was a big reason for this. He would end up with 2 interceptions on the day and is now in a 3 way tie for most picks in the league with 4.

Sexy Six – Week 2

Sexy Six – Week 2

By Zach Rayment

1 – Blue Jackets (Last Week – 3)

Won 31-12 vs Clam Slammers

They may not be the highest scoring team in league, but their defense has been dominant. The Blue Jackets have only allowed 24 points over two week and four different players have an interception. They have also only had 414 yards against them in the first two weeks. Quarterback Anthony Fontana has been an impressive game manager throwing for 12 touchdowns and no interceptions so far this year.

2 – Shockers (Last Week – 5)

Won 42-37 vs Warewolves

The leaky defense of the Shockers keeps them from moving up to the top of the ranking this week. They did have a tough game this week facing the Warewolves at noon. Quarterback Joe Giuffre threw for 5 touchdowns and 1 interception but the play that made the difference was Steve Solleto’s sack fumble and recovery for 6. He dominated the game adding 5 sacks. He is looking like Jason Pierre-Paul before he blew half of his f****** hand off.

3 – Warewolves – (Last Week – 2)

Lost 42-37 vs Shockers

A close loss to a top team keeps the Warewolves in top 3 this week. They may have come up short this week but two massive wins last week keeps them right in the hunt for the playoffs.

4 – Rabid Squirrels (Last Week – Not Ranked)

Won 40-19 vs Woodchucks

QB Sean Collins went 24-33 for 334 yards and 6 touchdowns in a tense matchup. For the second week in a row the Rabid Squirrels found themselves in a scuffle with their opponents. I think we’re all hoping that they get a hold of themselves and decide to not fight the Rattlers this week. During the time of the game where football was actually played, Anthony Carlo was unstoppable with 7 catches, 188 yards, and 4 touchdowns. Three interceptions on the other side of the ball made this game look easy.

5 – Warriors (Last Week – 1) 

Lost 37-29 vs The Grizzlies

After shutting out the Rattlers in week 1, the Warriors disappointed this time around. The Grizzlies put up 355 yards of offense up against them this week, which came as a shock. QB Dan Altman went 15-23 for 222 yards and 4 touchdowns in this week’s loss. The ball was spread around well this week with none of their receivers breaking the 100-yard mark.

6 – Woodchucks (Last Week – 4)

Lost 40-19 vs Rabid Squirrels

Last season’s runners-up suffered a harsh loss in what now can be considered a heated rivalry. Things got a little out of hand early on and the Woodchucks never recovered. Justin Izzo managed 2 sacks to bring his total to 5 for the season. With a big win this week, they can put this devastating loss behind them.

Players of the Week – Week 2 Edition

Players of the Week – Week 2

By Sean Dochney


Sean Collins – Rabid Squirrels

There were a lot of big games by Quarterbacks this week with 7 players throwing for over 300 yards, but not all were able to do this without throwing any interceptions. Collins had a huge game while leading the Rabid Squirrels to a 40-19 win over the Woodchucks this week. He went 24-33 for 334 yards with 6 touchdowns and 0 interceptions. There was no answer for him and his top receiver, Anthony Carlo.

Runner Up

Brandon Koppenjan – Average Joes

Brandon didn’t have as many attempts as most of the other QBs for the day, but he made the most of them with a lot of big plays in the 46-6 win over the Rattlers. He went 15-22 for 334 yards, 5 TDs, and 0 Interceptions. Terror Terron Maples was on the receiving end of a few of those big plays as he had 4 catches for 169 yards and 2 TDs.


Anthony Carlo – Rabid Squirrels

Carlo could not be stopped this past week. He hauled in 7 catches for 188 yards and 4 touchdowns. He averaged close to 27 yards per catch and had the most touchdowns this week. He was a big reason why the Rabid Squirrels were able to get a win this past week, in what I’ll call a “passionate” game against the Woodchucks.

Runner Up

Kyle Spatz – No Lackin’

No Lackin’ played 2 games this week and Spatz was able to have big games in both of them. No Lackin’ would win big on the day to the NJ Devils, and then fall just short of Strangers with Candy in game 2. Combined, Spatz would have 14 catches 252 yards and 4 TDs on the day. His 9 catch 146 yard performance against Strangers with Candy is what helps him get the runner up this week.


Steve Soletto – Shockers

A major reason why the Shockers were able to beat the Warewolves 42-37 is because the commissioner never felt comfortable in the pocket. Steve Soletto caused mayhem all day pressuring the QB on his way to 5 sacks, including a strip that he picked up himself to run for a touchdown.

Runner Up

Trevor Matthews – Average Joes

The Average Joes defense was well above average this week as they only let up 6 points to the Rattlers. Trevor Matthews would end up scoring more on defense then the Rattlers would on offense. Matthews had 2 of the Average Joes 5 interceptions on the day; he would return both of his picks for touchdowns.

Fine Five – Week 1

Fine Five – Week 1

By Zach Rayment

While Sean brings you the best players of the week, I will be looking out for the overall team. Every week I will be ranking the league’s top 5 teams. Without further ado, here are the week 1 rankings.

1 – Warriors

Won 47-0 vs The Rattlers

The top spot after Week 1 goes to the Warriors for one simple reason: shutout. This may not be the pros but it is not easy to keep a team off the board at any level. (I apologize to any egos that I may have damaged by breaking the news that this is not professional football.) John Mulvihill was the star man for the Warriors with 2 big interceptions. The Warriors D only allowed 104 total yards on the day.

2 – Warewolves

Won 58-14 vs The Grizzlies, Won 48-14 vs NJ Devils

Unlike Sean, The Commish can’t influence me, unless of course he wants to start tossing me a few more bills. The Warewolves take the number two spot after two big wins. The Commish tops the QB charts with 713 yards and 13 touchdowns after two games. Sean McAndrew made himself known with 14 catches, 6 receiving touchdowns, and 3 interceptions including a pick-6.

3 – Blue Jackets

Won 45-12 vs Strangers with Candy

Blue Jackets QB Anthony Fontana got the season started in impressive fashion. He went 18 for 32 with 327 yards and 7 touchdowns. He was one of the few quarterbacks not to get picked off in Week 1 so take notice. The defense came up big only allowing two touchdowns and intercepting the ball three times. If they can keep this play up, they’ll be tough to beat.

4 – Woodchucks

Won 44-12 vs Average Joes

Justin Izzo had a standout day with 3 big sacks, including 2 fumble recoveries. Maybe the rain helped but he doesn’t care. The Woodchucks D had 5 total sacks and also had one interception. It may be too soon to compare them to the Super Bowl winning Denver Broncos defense but keep an eye out for more big performances in the coming weeks. On the other side of the ball, Chris D’Addario was unstoppable. He had 7 catches for 114 yards and 3 touchdowns. Joe DeTroia added 2 touchdowns on his only 2 targets.

5 – Shockers

Won 55-20 vs No Lackin’

If it weren’t for the 3 long touchdowns that the Shockers D gave up, they would have been higher up in the power rankings. Nevertheless, the reigning champs got started off on the right foot. Shockers QB Joe Guiffre has a trademarked shimmy to avoid the sack. No Lackin’s defense couldn’t get him even once. This led to a 437- yard day with 8(8!) touchdowns. It won’t be any surprise to see them rise in the power rankings in the coming weeks.

Players of the Week – Week 1 Edition

Players of the Week – Week 1 Edition

By Sean Dochney

Every week I will be bringing you the Players of the Week for the QB, WR, and Defense; as well as the runner up for the respective position. I expect to upset a lot of egos who may feel that they were snubbed of the honor after their previous week’s performance, but I tend to lean toward giving this out to the highest bidder. With that being said, let’s get to our week 1 QB….



The Commissioner, Chris Angelini – Warewolves

Chris played 2 games on Saturday and combined for a very impressive 44-54 (81.5 completion%) for 713 yards, 13 Touchdowns, and 1 pick. He led the Warewolves to a 58-14 victory over the Grizzlies, and a 48-14 victory over the NJ Devils. His completion percentage is what separated him this week from the rest of the pack, and he was able to accomplish over 80% even with a few crucial Ryan Dooley drops that went well noted.

Runner Up

Joe Giuffe – The Shockers

Joe led the Shockers to a 55-20 victory over No Lackin’ and put up some gaudy numbers while doing so. Joe went 25-43 with 437 yards, 8 touchdowns, and 1 pick. Joe had the most passing yards in a single game this week, and came real close to grabbing the top QB honor himself if it wasn’t for the commissioner’s completion percentage.



Charlie Barbiere – The Shockers

This was a very close position to choose from with a lot of receivers putting up good numbers.  Charlie was Giuffe’s top target of the day with 11 passes thrown his way. Charlie was able to haul in 8 of those passes and went for 110 yards and reached the end zone 3 times. Charlie was a big reason why the Shockers were able to put a big smackin’ on No Lackin’.

Runner Up

Sean McAndrew – The Warewolves

The Bird Man himself gets the wide receiver runner up honors this week and could have very well have taken the top spot. Sean had the advantage of playing 2 games this week to help his stats to 14 catches for 216 yards and 6 touchdowns which currently makes him the top receiver in the league in all categories. He would even chip in another touchdown on the defensive side of the ball. Overall, the fact that he played 2 games went into consideration and may have hurt him from earning the top receiver of the week spot this week.



John Mulvihill – The Warriors

The Defensive Player of the Week honor this week really should go to the entire Warriors defense for their shut out against the Rattlers in the 40-0 win. The Rattlers became the rattled as they went through QB changes and were only able to put up 104 yards of offense against the Warriors tenacious defense. John Mulvihill stood out on defense for the Warriors with his 2 interceptions that led him become Week 1 Defensive Player of the Week.

Runner Up

Israel Rodriguez – The Warewolves

I am showing love to a player who was primarily rushing the quarterback on the day. Dizzy Izzy wreaked havoc on opposing linemen and quarterbacks never letting them feel comfortable. Israel played in 2 games and ended up with 7 sacks, and an interception he would run back for a touchdown.