Fine Five – Week 5

Power Rankings – Week 5

By Sean Dochney


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1. Shockers – (4-0- 1), Point Differential – 87. (Prev. 1)

The Shockers remain unbeaten and on top of the Power Rankings after a 51-22 win against the Rabid Squirrels. The Shockers dominated as the Guffslinger went off for 475 yards and 6 TDs. The Rabid Squirrels had no answer for their former teammate Anthony Carlo, as he hauled in 8 catches for 119 yards and a touchdown. Devon Snead had a big game as well as he had 5 catches for 109 yards and a touchdown. Both Carlo and Snead would add an interception to their stat line as well for the game. Ryan Pharo got in on the action as well with 3 catches for 68 yards and 2 TDs on the day. On the season, the Shockers have 5 receivers who rank in the top 15 in the wide receiver leaderboards. Those receivers are Devon Snead, Anthony Spanola, Ryan Pharo, Charlie Barbiere, and Anthony Carlo.

The Shockers started the season looking vulnerable with a tie against the Warewolves and then a nail biter against the Assassins. They have regained their form though and are on the brink of yet another unbeaten season. They do not have the easiest schedule for the remaining 3 weeks even though they will be the favorite to win in each game. In week 6 they will take on the Grizzlies, followed by French Toast Mafia in week 7, and the Warewolves in week 8.

2. Woodchucks – (4-1), Point Differential – 107. (Prev. 2)

The Woodchucks took care of business against the Rattlers and increased their point differential to the best in the league with a dominant 74-0 win against the Rattlers. It seemed like everyone had a big game for the Woodchucks on the offensive side of the ball as the Rattlers could not stop Zitani (21- 24, 481 yards, 9 TDs), Jeremy Wozniak (8 rec. 120 yards, 2 TDs), Charlie Mackie (6 rec. 133 yards, 1 TD), Terron Maples (2 rec. 90 yards, 2 TDs), or Ant D’Addario (5 rec. 72 yards, 1 TD). The Zit is leading the league in passing yards (1755), 2 nd in the league in touchdowns (27), and 3 rd in QB Rating (135.2). The Defense also played amazing as Kevin Kastner contributed 5 sacks, Steve Dalrymple had 2 sacks and an interception, and Devon McEllen had the only defensive touchdown for the Woodchucks with a pick 6.

The playoff picture is starting to shake out as the Woodchucks play the Rabid Squirrels in the week 6 Game of the Week at 10 am. The playoff implications are huge here, as the Woodchucks currently sit in 2nd in the standings and the Rabid Squirrels are in 4 th because of point differential.

3. Rabid Squirrels – (3-2), Point Differential – 25. (Prev. 3)

The Rabid Squirrels in week 4 did what everyone other team in the league has done so far, and that is lose to the Shockers, so they stay stagnant in the 3 spot in the power rankings. Sean Collins (356 yards, 3 TDs, but 3 interceptions thrown), Jihad Castro (3 rec. 98 yards, 1 TD), and Mike Lawrence (6 rec. 92 yards) were the bright spots for the Squirrels in the 51-22 loss. On the season, Sean Collins (1269 yards, 16 TDs, 6 picks), Corey Feldman (24 rec. 353 yards, 5 TDs), Mike Lawrence (15 rec. yards, 4 TDs), and Joe Andress (21 rec. 241 yards 5 TDs) are putting up good stats.

The Rabid Squirrels currently sit in the 4th and final playoff spot with 3 games left to go. They play a tough Woodchucks team in the Game of the Week for week 6. After that, they finish the season against the winless Rattlers and the winless, but competitive Assassins. I predict that getting to 5 wins should get teams into the playoffs, you may see a team like the Warewolves sneak in with 4 wins because of their tie. The Rabid Squirrels are in an excellent spot to make the playoffs, and I hope for my sake they do make the playoffs, because if they don’t, I will probably get my ass kicked by 10 grown men for the amount of shit I will be talking on here.

4. French Toast Mafia – (3-2), Point Differential – 31. (Prev. 5)

French Toast Mafia held on for the 32-31 win against the Assassins, who I believe to be much better than their winless record indicates. French Toast is not the only good team that the Assassins have played tough this year, see week 2 against the unbeaten Shockers. It felt like French Toast’s big play offense was barely on the field in the win on Saturday. QB Steve Knapp only had 17 pass attempts, although he did complete 12 of them for 289 yards, 5 TDs, and only 1 interception. Billy Belford (2 rec. 120 yards, 2 TDs), Kyle Spatz (3 rec. 67 yards, 1 TD), and Pat Schinder (2 rec. 62 yards, 1 TD) were Knapp’s top receivers on the day. Casey Sirotniak would add an interception and a sack on defense. Knapp is the 4 th ranked QB on the year, he has accumulated 1529 yards, 22 TDs, and 6 interceptions so far this year. Billy Belford has been his top receiver all year, as he sits in 2nd to Shane Capone in receptions (24), yards (510), and touchdowns (7). Kyle Spatz (19 rec. 218 yards, 4 TDs), Dave Pankow (17 rec. 254 yards, 3 TDs), and Pat Schinder (17 rec. 218 yards, 2 TDs) are all also putting up solid numbers for French Toast Mafia as well.

French Toast Mafia currently sits in 3 rd in the standings, but by far have the hardest schedule remaining for the last 3 weeks. They will be playing the Commissioner led Warewolves in week 6, this will be an uphill battle since the Commissioner has the refs (and scorekeeper) in his pocket. In week 7 they will be playing the top ranked Shockers, and they play the 2 nd ranked Woodchucks to end the season in week 8. It will be tough, but with a win or 2, and some help, French Toast can be in the playoffs.

5. Warewolves – (2-2- 1), Point Differential – 75. (Prev. Unranked)

Warewolves are keeping their playoff hopes alive as they have faced a tough uphill battle after their slow start to the season. They beat up on the Grizzlies, who still stand in their way to the playoffs, to a score of 64-20. The Commissioner and Shane Capone took home POTW honors for QB and WR after they both went off. Capone had 240 receiving yards and 4 TDs, Angelini threw for 475 yards and 8 TDs. Sean McAndrew decided to show up for the Warewolves, and his presence was instantly felt as he had 4 catches for 89 yards, 2 TDs, 2 interceptions on defense, and 1 defensive TD. The Acrobatic Mike Kalucki would add an interception on defense for the Wolves. On the season, Angelini is the top rated passer, and the only QB who has yet to throw an interception. Shane Capone is leading the league in every statistical category, and there would be a good chance he would still lead in every category if he decided to take a week off and sleep in. Sean McAndrew has missed a few games, but has been effective when he’s there, he has 8 catches for 204 yards and 3 TDs on the year in his 2 games played. Mike Kalucki has been a guy who has stepped up big time for the Warewolves, he now has 23 catches for 313 yards, and 4 TDs. Let’s not forget about the deadly red zone target the Commissioner has at his disposal; Rob Gudgeon has only 7 catches this year, but 4 have been for TDs. You know the Warewolves mean business when you see Gudge enter the game on offense.

The Warewolves still have some work to do if they want to make the playoffs. They currently sit in 6th place in the standings, and only the top 4 make the playoffs. The will need some help along the way, but they do control a little bit of their own destiny in a sense. They will be playing French Toast Mafia in week 6, who currently sit 3 rd in the standings. With a win against French Toast, and a Shockers win over the Grizzlies, the Warewolves will jump up to a playoff spot with 2 games left to play. After French Toast in week 6, the Warewolves will play the currently winless Assassins in week 7, and then the unbeaten Shockers in Week 8. The Warewolves have played the Shockers well in the past, even tying them in week 1 this season, but I know they do not want to go into that week 8 game in a win or go home situation.


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